1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run–anywhere

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
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Here’s dark-haired beauty Desiree Lyn from Twistys. She looks a little bit like Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio. I wonder if she is Brazilian?

See more here on Twistys

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Kim Kardashian has done a modeling gig for Travis (former drummer of boy band Blink 182) Barker’s line of bikinis and there are at least a couple of shots that are topless. The bad news is that you don’t really get to see anything as she is covering herself with her hands or arms. That’s what we in the business call "implied nudity". The good news, in my opinion, is that Kim is still hot enough that I care to take a look.

Here are some of the pics and a video as well.

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AT THE age of just 26, most people would think themselves to be in the prime of life. But Britney Spears, it seems, may already be in her twilight years. With her personal life in meltdown, her mental health in decline, and her potential for longevity compromised by dangerous dalliances with drugs and alcohol, the singer has qualified for an early obituary by the Associated Press, the world’s oldest and largest news-gathering organisation. While pre-prepared obituaries are common media practice, allowing for swift publication in the event of a prominent figure’s demise, the AP’s admission yesterday that it has added the still-youthful pop princess to its death files has …

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Britney is definitely the highest profile insane person out there, and I really do think she is insane at this point. She also can’t remember where she put her underwear. Here’s she is with no panties again at Gaucho Grill Restaurant in 1/18.

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1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zest Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and
become:
ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

9. Victoria ’s Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBang Bang

10. The restaurants Roadhouse and outback are merging to form:
OUTHOUSE

Here’s a sexy and glamorous set from Clara G aka Clara Hamilton.

See more here on 21Sextury.com

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Here’s a shoot of Vilita from Hegre Art.

See more here on Herge Art

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Everything is getting complicated for Nicole Richie and Joel Madden when it comes to the role of their daughter’s godmother. As of the socialite she wants her BFF Paris Hilton to be her newborn baby’s godmother, whereas fiance Joel thinks it is his future sister in-law, Aussie actress Sophie Monk, that fits the task better. "Joel doesn’t think Paris is up to the task … He’s lobbying for Sophie," a source told America’s Globe.

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Uh … yeah … Paris would be a fine Godmother as long as they want their daughter to grow up to be a party girl attention whore.

Here’s Paris Hilton at Fila Photoshoot in Marina Del Rey (01/14/08)

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1) A "Paris Hilton,"– an expensive hole
(2) A "James Joyce,"– an impossible read
(3) A "Rock Hudson,"– looked straighter than it was
(4) A "Cuban,"– needed one more revolution
(5) An "Elton John,"– a big bender that lips the rim
(6) A "Monica Lewinsky"– all lip, no hole
(7) A "Lou Gehrig,"– a dead Yank
(8) A "German,"– a hookenflecker
(9) An "Adolf Hitler,"– two shots in the bunker
(10) A "Saddam Hussein,"– from one bunker straight into another
(11) A "Yasser Arafat,"– ugly and in the sand
(12) A "Kate Winslett,"– little bit fat but otherwise perfect
(13) A "John Kennedy, Jr.,"– didn’t make it over the water
(14) An "Elephant’s Ass,"– it’s high and it stinks
(15) A "Rodney King,"– over-clubbed
(16) An "O.J. Simpson,"– got away with it
(17) A "Princess Grace,"– should have taken a driver
(18) A "Princess Di,"– shouldn’t have taken a driver
(19) A "George W.,"– steadily fading
(20) A "condom,"– safe, but didn’t feel very good
(21) A "Anna Kournikova," — looks great, but unlikely to get a result
(22) A "Brazilian," — shaved the hole
(23) A "Rush Limbaugh,"– too far to the right
(24) A "Nancy Pelosi,"– too far to the left
(25) A "Nelson Rockefeller" — died in the hole

Glamour model and actress Pamela Anderson is set to launch her own line of lingerie, according to new media reports. The 40-year-old former Baywatch babe and mother of two wants to offer women some of her infamous sex appeal with a signature range of sexy underwear and body products.

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Hey, it could work if she models the line. Maybe we’ll get some lingerie for women with big ass titties like "Pammies Mammies"?

Here’s some pics of Pamela Anderson at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood FL on Jan 18.

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