Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

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This works for me. A hot babe in lingerie. Boner City!

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Pop hunk Justin Timberlake’s romance with screen siren Jessica Biel could soon be on the rocks amid claims he’s been canoodling with a mystery brunette. The Sexyback singer was apparently spotted making out with the beauty at club Tenjune, in New York City, on Saturday night. According to one US website, multiple sources say the pair got it on while Timberlake’s actress girlfriend Biel, 25, was away filming her latest movie in the UK. The fresh claims come just days after hard-partying Timberlake was rumoured to have been smooching with newly-divorced actress Kate Hudson at a Hollywood hotspot. Full Story

WTF!?! Is this guy retarded!?!? Cheat on Jessica Biel? What the hell is wrong with you man!?! Look how freakin’ hot she is! We sure know she doesn’t have to put up with that crap. She can get another guy in about 3 seconds. Sorry babe. I’m not available.

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Christina Applegate used to be the main reason to watch the TV Show "Married with Children". She is still looking pretty damn good.

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Meet the lovely Jean Mansel from Oakfield Township, Michigan. Jean received what has to be one of the hottest ransom notes in history. It seems that a few of Jean’s neighbors are pissed off, because they believe she’s not picking up her dog’s shit. They have kidnapped her statute of Jesus which was in her front yard and are holding it ransom. She received a phone call from a raspy voice. The voice told her to check her mailbox. She did and found this note:

“We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”

I really hope Jean puts that shit on ebay, because I will bid on it, frame it and put it over my toilet. That note has so many things going for it: poopies, wieners and Jesus!
Jean claims she picks up her dog’s shit and just wants her Jesus statue back. It’s a family heirloom. She said, "It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that. And referring to weiner poopie…my gosh."
Holy Crap! In the name of wiener poopie! Give Jean her Jesus back!