I have a friend named Hammer. He thinks Angelina Jolie is the sexiest woman in the world. I think she is a freakazoid. Not that I don’t think she is sexy. She is probably one of the best examples of my oft used saying, "the hotter they are, the more f-cked up they are".

I used to think that Hammer was the world’s smartest man. Why? Well, first of all, he is friends with me. Secondly, he smokes cigars. And third, he has a quick wit and a good sense of humor. Then I found out that he LOVES Angelina Jolie, and I became doubtful that he is the smartest man in the world.

When I told my girlfriend that I disagreed with Hammer, and that I think she is the sexiest woman in the world, she said that she thinks I am the world’s smartest man. So, Hammer, my friend, I am sorry to tell you that you are no longer the smartest man in the world.

Sorry dude.