Two of my favorite actors in a totally suck movie … no pun intended at first, but now it is after I write it.

I need your help here folks. This goes out to all the straight guys in the audience. Is it just me, or is there anybody else that can’t figure out why movie-makers think a straight guy wants to see anything that has to do with gay guys? Seriously. WTF?!?! I know this isn’t as bad as "Broke Back Mountain", where the actors portrayed real gay guys. In "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry", Kevin James and Adam Sandler are playing guys that are pretending to be gay in order to get domestic partner benefits. Dude, I wouldn’t pretend to be gay for 1-freakin-million-dollars. I LOVE Kevin James and Adam Sandler (in a totally non-gay way), but this is one movie that I will wait to buy the discounted, previously viewed version from Blockbuster.

The NY Daily News says:

The new Adam Sandler comedy "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" is the movie equivalent of a double-jointed contortionist who can walk forward with his head turned backward. It is an hour and a half of clichéd gay jokes and 25 minutes of pro-gay apologies.

With a script partially credited to the team behind the Pinot Noir comedy hit "Sideways," "Chuck and Larry" is a lazy sitcom about two straight firefighting buddies who pretend to be a gay couple in order to get domestic partner benefits.

Seems that the chubby, recently widowed Larry (Kevin James) cannot provide for his two kids in the event of his death unless he’s married to a woman or officially partnered with a man. Since he’s too in love with his late wife to consider a second romance, he turns to the friend whose life he has just saved and requests the favor of a mock marriage.

The friend is Chuck (Sandler), the incorrigible, skirt-chasing Mr. February in their Brooklyn firehouse’s annual beefcake calendar. Larry is just sensitive enough to pass for gay, but Chuck, no way; there are five women in his bed at any time.

That’s the setup for the anecdotal sketches that are strung together in lieu of a plot.

Just imagine the panic in the firehouse shower when Chuck and Larry show up and somebody drops a bar of soap. Or, imagine Chuck’s suppressed delight when his bodacious legal advocate (Jessica Biel) asks him to fondle her breasts by way of confirming their naturalness.

Jessica Biel?!?! Breast fondling!?! Ok, maybe there is something good about this movie!

Read the rest of the review at The NY Daily News (Opens in new window)